Regina may not be a pimp, but she sure knows how to slap a brother down... My attempt to clarify her position has once again failed. Specifically:
Needless to say, her awesome pimp hat gift has been rescinded (I gave most of the hat to my brother who assures me "Its so dorky its cool" and I gave the feather to my kittens who assured me "Meow Miao Miaou" which I can only assume means "Thanks for the awesome pimp feather. We will treasure it forever and will stop scratching the furniture while you sleep.") But if Madam is what she wants then Madam is what she will get. I will not dignify the low blow about a Master's Degree with a response other than to say: I have taken almost enough classes to qualify for two Master's Degrees and just because I have a wee bit of a procrastination problem and may or may not have lost the legal right to come within 200 feet of a former thesis adviser does not mean that I too will not someday have a spiffy piece of paper to validate my existence.(%$@^ I guess this is a response however I preface it)
As for the game we played... I have nothing to hide and I am a big enough man (though I'm thinking about dieting after I finish this pie) to describe the luck I had and the multiple bone-headed plays I made. I love me some arbitrary lists (and bad grammar, in case you haven't noticed by now). So without further ado, the top five plays from the game I tried to lose, but was saved by the tile gods (and the incalculable effect of my "witty" repartee ):
1) I randomly decided to study the 4 letter words that looked really weird a couple hours before the game and made it all the way to the end of the "A"s. I then got to play "ambo" on the second turn of the game. It went unchallenged, but definitely freaked her out as at it sat there during the game (the same way one crooked window blind bothers me until I get up to fix it). It sat there glaring at her and could not be "straightened" for the duration of the game. Me singing a little ambo song probably did not help either.
2) She played deading and I successfully challenged it off the board; gaining myself a critical extra turn in the process. One small problem. While deading is not acceptable in scrabble for God knows why, it actually has two accepted meanings in several dictionaries I checked. One is "a covering used to prevent the radiation of heat. The other I don't understand, but seems to be some kind of metric related to topology. Yeah for scrabble unsophistication!
3) I then played a word not in most "real" dictionaries: seepier. It has, however, oozed its way onto the acceptable list for scrabble so she lost her turn for not knowing a word that does not really exist. She did have a good line, though, right before the challenge:
"I know the rain is making you seepier little one, but you can't just make up words..."
4) She played kata and I challenged it because I big shot like me surely know all the four letter words with a high point tile like K in it right? Right?? Umm, no. Kata is a series of movements used in martial arts. Due to this feat of mental jujitsu I have decided to redub Regina as Madam Kata. If there is not a character named that in some cheesy badly dubbed movie out there then, well, there really should be. My selfish motivation is mnemonic. Hopefully, I will be able to remember now her job and/or that "kata" is a real word. (Also, if I can get her to go to a tournament, think about how cool and intimidating that name would be: "Ouch, next round you have to play Madame Kata. her last opponent lost by 300 points and they still can't find half of his body..."
5) Capitalizing on her momentum, Madame Kata then body slammed "tinners" onto the board and stared me down with the cool gaze of a samurai. I had not learned my lesson and challenged it also. Not only is tinners good, but it is in Much ado about Nothing. Ouch...Nothing would also be my score for those two turns. I may have wound up with a higher score, but I was certainly outplayed.
So till next time scrabble warriors, remember: One does not hope to defeat Madam Kata, only to escape with their life, and a story to tell...
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From the Queen: So I've been promoted from "prostitute" to "pimp"? I actually prefer "madam." It would be even more accurate to say I work for the prostitutes who get grant money to do their research at the university. I'm not sure what that makes me. "Glorified servant even though I have a master's degree"? Hopefully not "fired" if one of them reads this!!
I can't wait to see what else you have to say for yourself about last night's game, in which I came back from a 159 point deficit to lose by only 81 points, mister professor person! :-)