So we have made it back in one piece. I am still trying to process everything that happened over the last several days. I'll attempt to collect my thoughts as best as I can and I'm sure there will be many more posts on this trip, but for now here's a random list (ahh lists, more calming to me than prozac).
1) The Heat: How do people live there?!? I was worried about this before the trip and my fears were founded. Sure the tournament was inside, but I felt like I was going to have a heat stroke in the middle of several games and it sure did not help my play. The Acolyte and I visited the site for registration purposes the evening before and it was actually pleasantly chilly. The morning before the tournament we each picked up a jacket for the cold to come. While the Arctic Acolyte continued to snuggle inside hers somehow, mine was off and on the ground within minutes of sitting down. The air conditioning just could not compete with the number of large sweaty bodies giving off heat and humidity. Thankfully, I was able to trade my jacket for a swimsuit thanks to a returns employee with a good sense of humor.
"Hi, I would like to return this jacket."
"Do you have the receipt?"
"No it caught on fire as soon as I stepped outside of the door because its Florida in July."
" Well I can't give you your money back, but you can get other merchandise of equal or lesser value."
"Like a swimsuit and a coke which I could actually use in this part of the earth?
"Yeah swimming pools and soft drinks don't usually catch on fire. They're pretty popular here."
"Done and Done Sir!"
2) The Ongoing Resignation Saga: So I had another incident. Some early tournament jitters, a series of challenges that went the wrong way, the heat and some twitchy synapses made for a very bad combination. The division director aggressively told me I could not, and when I reminded him of the rule that existed it was sit down and play or get written up and face nebulous and ominous consequences. Sigh... Whatever, we played the rest of the game out and my opponent's spread would have been better if he had taken the 50 points. I spoke to the head director after the round and she told me that "my" director had ruled incorrectly and if a similar situation arose again I would be allowed to resign. If only that had been the end of it. Apparently, resigning is something that some scrabble players feel as strongly about as other people do about abortion or gun ownership. There is not a lot of constructive dialogue, but there is a lot of passionate emotion and strongly held beliefs. Maybe I will come back to this later when I am farther from the events of the last few days, but for now, let's just say that plenty of %$#@ happened over and over concerning this issue, but I did not have to (attempt to) resign any more games.
3) The Melting Pot of Madness: I met three general kinds of people in my division. There were several really nice, well adjusted people. By this I mean that you could talk to them before, after and evening during the game and they would make conversation and even have kind things to share. I was immensely satisfied that the top three in the final standings were all people I could see myself interacting with in a non scrabble setting. Unfortunately, many of the others I met seemed like they would be more at home working for the DMV and/or yelling at Pigeons while drinking out of a paper bag and laying on a park bench. The creepy thing was how the stress and heat combined with the unnatural act of sorting words out of random scrambled letters for four days slowly turned some initially nice people mean and/or crazy. One lady I met seemed ok before our game and a little grumpy though still essentially human after I beat; lied to my face on the last day. thanks to the beauty of spread, I needed her to sign off on a score correction from our game a few rounds earlier. The initial score was a gap of 60, but she had gone over by a minute and half which would be a penalty of 20 points. I wrote the correct final margin on my sheet and so did she, but she filled out the official results slip as a loss of 60 instead of 80. I saw that it said I won so I signed it, since to me that is all that really matters. When I talked to her about what had happened later, she literally twitched, had a glassy expression come over her eyes and then said:
"No, no........I never go over on time."
"Well can we look at your score sheet please?"
"Hmmm, No I .....lost it........"
"But you have a stack of them from previous rounds right there."
"Not that one though.......Something happened to that one......."
This is where I began to back slowly away. Since I didn't feel like trying to grab the score sheet and run away with it. Who knows what a crazy person will do? The twenty points she stole did not change her final standing, but did cause me to finish one spot lower than I would otherwise. There were at least two other delightful individuals who were worse to deal with. One was convinced I was somehow using my duck and her little bag/couch to cheat despite it being a tightly cinched bag a foot away from the board with a duck sitting on top of it... Another refused to say a single other word other than commands like "Record your blank" "Confirm your score" and "It is against the rules to have any fun or not scowl and act like a computer." The percentages of these jerks seem to get worse as you advance in the ranks. Hopefully, I am close to plateauing and will still have enough people to have fun with at the level I have reached.
4) The Ongoing Photo Quest: Players' pictures are displayed both online and with pairings at scrabble tournaments. There are two main scrabble sites (more on this some time soon) but they are connected and there is no "good" reason why they should not be able to efficiently share and synchronize their information. One site has had my picture for months and the other which runs coverage for the national championship (among other things) has had "difficulties" for that long. While it took over two days and the taking and editing of a new picture I was able to finally get a picture up. One of the pleasant surprises I had during my trip was meeting the head of the technical support team. He also had noticed the surreal quality of the world of scrabble and like myself was a little outside and a little in. Anyways, we bonded and started to joke about our ongoing little talks. I was actually a little sad when my problem was finally resolved. My head does look a little fat in the picture though... I'm gonna send an email to my new friend and shoot the breeze. On that happy note, I'll take a break until next time when I finish the list and share the beauty of Russian peasants...
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
Early Morning Excitement (#1)
In a couple hours, the Coconut Conundrum will be driving with me over to The Director's house. I will meet up with the Acolyte and the Crimson Commando and the four of us will drive together to the airport (sadly the wife will be staying behind this year to spend time with her Mom and her friend Teresa from out of town). No actual games today, just travel, registration and settling in. I am feeling nostalgic this morning so I'm going to let my mind drift back over a couple comparable tournaments to this imminent scrabbleganza.
Way back in high school, when I was a hot shot young chess player, I attended an event in Tennessee called Super Nationals. It was "super" because the United States Chess Federation, or U.S.C.F., decided to hold a championship for all levels of scholastic chess at the same time and place. There were over 2,500 kids participating from first to twelfth grade. There were seemingly endless divisions. I think I was in 9th grade Division Two. This meant I was "only" directly competing against around two hundred other people. My rating put me near the top and I remember naively thinking "Well I only really need to worry about these four kids ahead of me". Of course ratings are only an approximation of ability and children are especially prone to variance in performance. I got off to a good start, winning my first several rounds. One by one, the kids rated in front of me suffered at least one loss. Around halfway through the tournament (round 5 out of 9, I think) I had pulled into first place. Lucky me, a news crew showed up at his point and decided to tape some of the "top boards" (the two top ranked players in a division playing each other). I was paired up against someone from my home state who I had actually played against before in previous tournaments and beaten both times. He was a pleasant enough guy, but his "style" of play was somehow both very boring and annoying to me. We got into a position that should have been a draw, but I did not want to suffer my first non-win and fall out of first place so I made a couple risky moves that wound up backfiring and I went on to lose my first game. I bounced back to win three and draw one after that, but I could not catch some of the people in the standings. Unfortunately, the kid I had lost to fell apart after our match and lost several games in the remaining rounds. When the last round was over I had finished fifth, right where I started. I was ahead of one person with the same record as me (because I had beat them head to head) but behind the other three with the same record (and the winner who only had wins and draws). It was an overall fun experience, but a little bittersweet, because I was pretty sure I could have done better. Who knows though? By losing when I did, I didn't have to play as difficult opposition until the last couple rounds then if I had kept winning and stayed in first. Incidentally, chess does have a national championship, but the one time I went, it was as a high school state champion and the forty something of us were kept in our own little bubble, separate from the main tournament hall and the thousand or so playing in the "main event".
Magic also has a national championship (one for each of around thirty countries actually), but it is invitation only. There are two ways to receive an invitation to these prestigious events. If you can get your rating to a certain level then you are automatically qualified. Last time I checked it was top 100 in the world if you wanted an invite to the U.S. Nationals. I got pretty close to this threshold (125th or so) but could not quite make it. The other option is to make the playoffs of a Regional tournament. Depending on the turnout, somewhere between one and eight people would qualify. Alaska and Montana, for instance, usually have less than 100 people at their regionals and so can only send one representative. New York, California, Ohio and a couple others regularly have more than 500 at theirs, so they get to send a full eight. I'm pretty sure I went to ffive regionals over the years and attendance ranged from 250 to 400. Only the largest one qualified a full eight people. My first regionals I only won one round and quit before the tournament was over. There was also one year when I just was not having fun and left to spend time with the Coconut Conundrum (who I should have been staying with in the first place) One year I came as close as possible without qualifying: 5th place when the top 4 got invitations. The other two were moderate successes where I won prizes and pretty much recouped my expenses. The question on my mind this morning is this: what will Scrabble Nationals be like? I am nowhere near the top of my division and am very jealous of The Director who is one of the favorites in her division. People keep telling me I am in a good spot to gain rating points, but I do not really care about that. Its not like I can cash my point in for a car or even a free meal somewhere. Hopefully, I can go an have a fun time. At least I will have friends there. The more I think about it though, the more I am sure of one thing. Having my duck with me will be nice, but I am not going to another ocean of scrabble insanity this big in the future without my smiley anchor of sanity the Coconut Conundrum herself.
Way back in high school, when I was a hot shot young chess player, I attended an event in Tennessee called Super Nationals. It was "super" because the United States Chess Federation, or U.S.C.F., decided to hold a championship for all levels of scholastic chess at the same time and place. There were over 2,500 kids participating from first to twelfth grade. There were seemingly endless divisions. I think I was in 9th grade Division Two. This meant I was "only" directly competing against around two hundred other people. My rating put me near the top and I remember naively thinking "Well I only really need to worry about these four kids ahead of me". Of course ratings are only an approximation of ability and children are especially prone to variance in performance. I got off to a good start, winning my first several rounds. One by one, the kids rated in front of me suffered at least one loss. Around halfway through the tournament (round 5 out of 9, I think) I had pulled into first place. Lucky me, a news crew showed up at his point and decided to tape some of the "top boards" (the two top ranked players in a division playing each other). I was paired up against someone from my home state who I had actually played against before in previous tournaments and beaten both times. He was a pleasant enough guy, but his "style" of play was somehow both very boring and annoying to me. We got into a position that should have been a draw, but I did not want to suffer my first non-win and fall out of first place so I made a couple risky moves that wound up backfiring and I went on to lose my first game. I bounced back to win three and draw one after that, but I could not catch some of the people in the standings. Unfortunately, the kid I had lost to fell apart after our match and lost several games in the remaining rounds. When the last round was over I had finished fifth, right where I started. I was ahead of one person with the same record as me (because I had beat them head to head) but behind the other three with the same record (and the winner who only had wins and draws). It was an overall fun experience, but a little bittersweet, because I was pretty sure I could have done better. Who knows though? By losing when I did, I didn't have to play as difficult opposition until the last couple rounds then if I had kept winning and stayed in first. Incidentally, chess does have a national championship, but the one time I went, it was as a high school state champion and the forty something of us were kept in our own little bubble, separate from the main tournament hall and the thousand or so playing in the "main event".
Magic also has a national championship (one for each of around thirty countries actually), but it is invitation only. There are two ways to receive an invitation to these prestigious events. If you can get your rating to a certain level then you are automatically qualified. Last time I checked it was top 100 in the world if you wanted an invite to the U.S. Nationals. I got pretty close to this threshold (125th or so) but could not quite make it. The other option is to make the playoffs of a Regional tournament. Depending on the turnout, somewhere between one and eight people would qualify. Alaska and Montana, for instance, usually have less than 100 people at their regionals and so can only send one representative. New York, California, Ohio and a couple others regularly have more than 500 at theirs, so they get to send a full eight. I'm pretty sure I went to ffive regionals over the years and attendance ranged from 250 to 400. Only the largest one qualified a full eight people. My first regionals I only won one round and quit before the tournament was over. There was also one year when I just was not having fun and left to spend time with the Coconut Conundrum (who I should have been staying with in the first place) One year I came as close as possible without qualifying: 5th place when the top 4 got invitations. The other two were moderate successes where I won prizes and pretty much recouped my expenses. The question on my mind this morning is this: what will Scrabble Nationals be like? I am nowhere near the top of my division and am very jealous of The Director who is one of the favorites in her division. People keep telling me I am in a good spot to gain rating points, but I do not really care about that. Its not like I can cash my point in for a car or even a free meal somewhere. Hopefully, I can go an have a fun time. At least I will have friends there. The more I think about it though, the more I am sure of one thing. Having my duck with me will be nice, but I am not going to another ocean of scrabble insanity this big in the future without my smiley anchor of sanity the Coconut Conundrum herself.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Idle Speculation and Upset Tummy (#3?)
So its early Wednesday morning (and I mean early enough that non crazy people are still asleep). My health is still not that great and the big day is fast approaching. We leave Friday and the first round is Saturday morning. Hopefully I can shake this funk pretty soon. I know part of it is the heat. Some people get sick in winter. I feel invigorated by the cold and find it easier to think. The world is also most beautiful while covered in snow. Why I live in a place that hits 100 degrees on a regular basis is a source of much speculation by myself and others. I am currently leaning towards the "reincarnation after after being a jerk that fried ants with a magnifying glass" theory. Lucky me, the tournament is in "sunny" (as in it feels like you are being sucked into the sun) Orlando Florida. If anything, it will be even hotter there than here. I would ask for some cheese with my whine, but the thought of eating anything that did not come out of a freezer makes me nauseous right now. I guess since I'm complaining ( which is so different from what I normally post) I might as well get some other things off my chest as well (like this turtleneck sweater, what was I thinking?!?). So a directive/ threat has been issued by the scrabble nazis (scrazis? nabbles?) in charge of the event, that ALL competitors must bring boards to the events. You would think that half of them bringing boards would be enough, but maybe they are using different math than I am. If you and your competitor do not have a board then you both will receive a forfeit. Due to this fearmongering, (which is not near as much fun as fishmongering in my humble opinion) all sorts of doomsday scenarios are being tossed around.
"What if I bring my board and set it up at a table at the beginning of the day (the normal procedure) and then have to sit at a spot with no board? "
"I guess you go get your board from wherever you left it."
"What if people are playing on it?"
" I guess you ask one of them for a board. "
"What if neither of them have one?"
Everyone gets a forfeit, quits scrabble, joins an angry mob, takes over Seaworld and holds Shamoo hostage until their demands of sanity and/or frozen treats are met."
"Well at least there is a plan."
Seriously, I expect people to be carrying around their boards and constantly setting them up and packing them back up again now. Thanks for the paranoia and unnecessary delays nabbles.
I feel like we are at scrabble alert orange or something. Speaking of signs of the apocalypse, we are a couple of days away from the tournament and the registered number of players has been holding steady at 666 for around a week now. The deadline to enter has passed and so unless somebody drops at the last minute we will have an unholy event of epic proportions on our hands here. Of course all this could have been averted if Galen had agreed to come with us. More on this in a bit. I need to get some exercise walking while I can still go outside without having a stroke. Be back soon with a nickname for Galen and some thoughts on the pie person/people's identity.
"What if I bring my board and set it up at a table at the beginning of the day (the normal procedure) and then have to sit at a spot with no board? "
"I guess you go get your board from wherever you left it."
"What if people are playing on it?"
" I guess you ask one of them for a board. "
"What if neither of them have one?"
Everyone gets a forfeit, quits scrabble, joins an angry mob, takes over Seaworld and holds Shamoo hostage until their demands of sanity and/or frozen treats are met."
"Well at least there is a plan."
Seriously, I expect people to be carrying around their boards and constantly setting them up and packing them back up again now. Thanks for the paranoia and unnecessary delays nabbles.
I feel like we are at scrabble alert orange or something. Speaking of signs of the apocalypse, we are a couple of days away from the tournament and the registered number of players has been holding steady at 666 for around a week now. The deadline to enter has passed and so unless somebody drops at the last minute we will have an unholy event of epic proportions on our hands here. Of course all this could have been averted if Galen had agreed to come with us. More on this in a bit. I need to get some exercise walking while I can still go outside without having a stroke. Be back soon with a nickname for Galen and some thoughts on the pie person/people's identity.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Revisions and Updates (#6)
Ugh. I'm not doing so well today. The big day is coming up fast and I am cracking under the pressure like ......a big cracky thing (my imagination and the simile center of my brain also seem to be damaged). I have also learned an important health lesson I'd like to share with the younger readers (and those young at heart). Lead paint chips may taste delicious, but...... Hmm, I can't remember what I was going to say. I guess that's it then. Lead paint chips are delicious!
The mistress of deception and misdirection had an interesting comment to the last post that I feel deserves a response:
The mistress of deception and misdirection had an interesting comment to the last post that I feel deserves a response:
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Flaking Out With The Pie People (Countdown #7)
In news that will shock no one, I have miscounted the number of days left until the National Championship. So this countdown begins at #7 (I hear it can be turned up to 11 though). What's the best way to start off this momentous romp? No seriously, any suggestions? I've never done anything like this before... Oh well, let's just check back in with those persistent pie people. Checking the comments for my last post reveals this little gem:
So my moral quandary is this: do I provide "exotic nicknames" that will probably be fetishized
by depraved pie posters or do I put some effort into this post and come up with compelling content that everyone can enjoy?..............Wait a sec! Nicknames are a bunch of related terms that each require a small amount of explanation. Smells like a list to me! (hey scrabble nurses, is there a name for obsessive list making and sharing? Is there medicine for it?) Looks like you get your wish PiByter. May God have mercy on my soul...
"Exotic" Nicknames for Everyone (who's anyone at least)
1) Madam Kata: Regina's moniker was the first step down this slippery slope and has been covered in the post Madam Kata enters the fray.
2) Crimson Commando: Candice being Candice and my unhealthy love of alliteration in the last post was enough to draw the attention of the pie people and get this crazy train rolling. For those not paying attention, Candice is a red head and a soldier (and a little too forthcoming with foundation anecdotes).
3) Professor P: I guess technically I have a nickname too. How's this for creativity, I am a teacher and my middle name starts with P. I am so proud of my public school education right now.
4) The Director: Ok, calling Peggy "The Director" is a bit of a cop-out, but it does sound cool in certain circumstances and adds a bit of cinematic flair to our shoddy operation (I am also holding out hope for the a love connection between The Director and The Conductor I met at my first fever dream of a tournament. I'm sure they could make a beautiful "C.D." together...)
5) The Finger: I'll take any chance I get to reference Louise's obscene "accident". It also sounds awesome when pairings are being given out.
"Next round, looks like you get...The Finger!"
6) Grey Ghost: I'm still pretty sure Kathy (with a K) is/was some sort of spy or ninja. She still drifts with the wind around the globe (claiming she has a game show or book signing to attend right before some world leader is assassinated). And, um, she has gray hair.
7) Acolyte: Cathy (with a C) is always complaining about all the studying she has to do. She also has some mysterious religious past that she alludes to occasionally. She claims she is too "busy" to read the blog, but the only rational explanation is she belongs to some sort of extreme religious order that considers blogs unholy. (theory #2? She's a pie person. There I said it.)
8) Petite Danseuse: Michael is ambiguously french and a homunculus hoofer (whether it is square, line, point or cube).
9) Lightning Rod: Victor attracts controversy and recently played softball with an aluminum bat during a thunderstorm (runner up name is The Litigator since he is a newly minted lawyer and a good candidate to be The Director's nemesis).
10) Jade Owl: Jo Ann looks a little like an owl to me (in a good way...) She is also wise and wore a green sweater one time. Ok, you got me. I'm running out of steam here.
Join me next week when we.......Wait what's that? We forgot Galen? In honor of her status as minor deity to the Pie People I open up her naming to the comments section for the next few days. That's right, its the first contest here at ScrabbleDuck (well aside from the Cerulean Blue Cookie Contest which has no entries so far). Be the one to come up with the best suggestion for Galen's nickname and receive the ScrabbleDuck Quack of Approval (trademark pending). Let's keep it (relatively) clean and come up with something worthy of the "freak like me" herself. Just remember, the Pie People are counting on you and they are a temperamental and fundamentally depraved group (pretty much like scrabble players). Join me soon for the Countdown #6 spectacular(failure)!
-
PiByter said... Fine dont post pics. Exotic nicknames are good tho. Very good. Give everyone one and I might come back.
So my moral quandary is this: do I provide "exotic nicknames" that will probably be fetishized
by depraved pie posters or do I put some effort into this post and come up with compelling content that everyone can enjoy?..............Wait a sec! Nicknames are a bunch of related terms that each require a small amount of explanation. Smells like a list to me! (hey scrabble nurses, is there a name for obsessive list making and sharing? Is there medicine for it?) Looks like you get your wish PiByter. May God have mercy on my soul...
"Exotic" Nicknames for Everyone (who's anyone at least)
1) Madam Kata: Regina's moniker was the first step down this slippery slope and has been covered in the post Madam Kata enters the fray.
2) Crimson Commando: Candice being Candice and my unhealthy love of alliteration in the last post was enough to draw the attention of the pie people and get this crazy train rolling. For those not paying attention, Candice is a red head and a soldier (and a little too forthcoming with foundation anecdotes).
3) Professor P: I guess technically I have a nickname too. How's this for creativity, I am a teacher and my middle name starts with P. I am so proud of my public school education right now.
4) The Director: Ok, calling Peggy "The Director" is a bit of a cop-out, but it does sound cool in certain circumstances and adds a bit of cinematic flair to our shoddy operation (I am also holding out hope for the a love connection between The Director and The Conductor I met at my first fever dream of a tournament. I'm sure they could make a beautiful "C.D." together...)
5) The Finger: I'll take any chance I get to reference Louise's obscene "accident". It also sounds awesome when pairings are being given out.
"Next round, looks like you get...The Finger!"
6) Grey Ghost: I'm still pretty sure Kathy (with a K) is/was some sort of spy or ninja. She still drifts with the wind around the globe (claiming she has a game show or book signing to attend right before some world leader is assassinated). And, um, she has gray hair.
7) Acolyte: Cathy (with a C) is always complaining about all the studying she has to do. She also has some mysterious religious past that she alludes to occasionally. She claims she is too "busy" to read the blog, but the only rational explanation is she belongs to some sort of extreme religious order that considers blogs unholy. (theory #2? She's a pie person. There I said it.)
8) Petite Danseuse: Michael is ambiguously french and a homunculus hoofer (whether it is square, line, point or cube).
9) Lightning Rod: Victor attracts controversy and recently played softball with an aluminum bat during a thunderstorm (runner up name is The Litigator since he is a newly minted lawyer and a good candidate to be The Director's nemesis).
10) Jade Owl: Jo Ann looks a little like an owl to me (in a good way...) She is also wise and wore a green sweater one time. Ok, you got me. I'm running out of steam here.
Join me next week when we.......Wait what's that? We forgot Galen? In honor of her status as minor deity to the Pie People I open up her naming to the comments section for the next few days. That's right, its the first contest here at ScrabbleDuck (well aside from the Cerulean Blue Cookie Contest which has no entries so far). Be the one to come up with the best suggestion for Galen's nickname and receive the ScrabbleDuck Quack of Approval (trademark pending). Let's keep it (relatively) clean and come up with something worthy of the "freak like me" herself. Just remember, the Pie People are counting on you and they are a temperamental and fundamentally depraved group (pretty much like scrabble players). Join me soon for the Countdown #6 spectacular(failure)!
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Feisty Flagellation Fun
So as Madam Kata points out in her latest rant filled (not that there is anything wrong with that) reply, there was at least one notable event during my most recent block of unaccounted time. Eye witnesses support her claim that I (mis)played several games of scrabble with her, Peggy and Candice over the weekend. Ear witnesses do not seem to support my claim that strange voices from beyond controlled my actions during this time. We can all agree that something odd was going on though. For one, Candice was there and playing scrabble. I was pretty sure she had quit scrabble and taken up extreme bowling or some other pursuit that played to her strengths (such as well... strength). Secondly, on a fateful challenge in a close game between Madam Kata and the Crimson Commando herself, I was asked to adjudicate a play. Well I was actually asked "Hey quit staring into space and look up this word!" but adjudicate sounds cooler. The word in question was "sudsing". Apparently, this is something people do with "shampoo" when they "bathe" to get "clean". I am not really familiar with this specialized jargon, but I have been told its "big in Japan". So I checked the official word list and then checked again. I didn't see it. I remember being blinded with rage over a recent defeat at Madam Kata's deadly hands, but I am sure that has no bearing on my decision to utter "Definitely not good." and then slink away into the shadows while cackling maniacally... This had a huge swing on the game and Candice was able to turn certain defeat into a narrow victory over the Asian sensation. When Madam Kata looked up the word herself and saw that it was good I learned two new things about my future: I no longer was allowed to "do business" with her "learned colleagues" ( I guess a preferred customer card doesn't mean as much as it used to) and furthermore, I would soon lose the ability to "do business" with anyone, ever. So to save the world from a future depressingly devoid of little Professor P's, I have come up with a last ditch effort to save myself in true ScrabbleDuck style. I have devised a short list (arbitrarily numbered for your convenience) of true-ish embarrassing "facts" concerning me and scrabble. Hopefully, this emasculating experience will assuage Madame Kata's wrath (at least until I can safely disappear back into the seedy underworld from whence I came).
1) I can not sit with my back to a large window or door while playing. I keep telling people it is because of assassins (and there certainly is a large enough bounty on me) but, I doubt that the direction I am facing is going to have much impact on a soulless sniper. I did do some research to see if there is some genetic basic for this particular quirk of mine. The closest I found was a distant ancestor who was shot in the back in Virgina in 1780. He was running away from British people with guns in some sort of revolution (running away from people with guns doesn't seem that "revolutionary" to me, but maybe he was doing it in a particularly fancy way). There was no window or door involved though since it was in the middle of a forest. Further evidence against the hereditary theory comes from the lack of the behavior in my father or brother or any other family member, really except for crazy uncle Eddie and he's well, you know.............adopted.
2) I take a small cute duck with me to play scrabble in events several states away I have to pay to enter. I'm still not sure that some of you reading this have quite figured that out yet.
3) I use performance enhancing steroids when I play scrabble online (its a little too obvious when I inject myself in the middle of a tournament game). Seriously though, the Internet Scrabble Club or ISC is many things to many people. About the only thing we can all agree on is that the insulting and rude "helpers" are a serious problem (well everyone agrees but sadomasochist Pete and I can't stand him). One of the biggest ongoing debates is the use of outside aids during games. Some people feel that nothing should be allowed whatsoever and have gone so far as to sign something called a fair play agreement (we'll come back to this in a minute). Some feel that some things are ok, like a dictionary or a list of all the 2 letter words. Others have decided to use various programs or devices because they don't care and/or they believe others are doing the same anyways. I have no idea what the percentages are like, but I can attest that there are multiple people I have personally seen use outside aids during their games despite having signed the fair play agreement. I am not sure what exactly this accomplishes other than ticking people off., but it seems a popular choice somedays. Anyways, my deep dark secret is that I am one of the people who uses outside help during my games. I have not signed the agreement and do not plan to do so. To the best of my knowledge, there are no tournaments or anything that involves money changing hands over the outcome of a game on ISC. Since it is "for fun" I have chosen to use it as a tool to learn many new words I would not have otherwise. In most games, the best way to get better is to play with people who are better than you. To do that on ISC you have to first get a rating that is higher than your ability level so that the better people will play you. My rating is now high enough that I can play against national champions and see words and strategies I never would have otherwise. My opponents, meanwhile, got a new opponent that they would not have access to otherwise. I do not see who the victim is here. Please comment in the forums if there is something I have missed though.
4) I am "somewhat" tangential and long winded (see #3 on this "short" list).
5) The color of the tiles, clock, rack and board make it substantially harder or easier for me to play. Pink clocks make me feel like a sissy and I start trying to play overly masculine words like "smash" and "impregnate". I carry my own rack with me (all black with the logo scraped off). I spent hours deciding what were the most soothing tiles to play: cerulean blue (and I will give a cookie to anyone that knows what that is a reference to). I am also saving up to get a custom made board with optimum shading, contrast and embedded images.
I hope this look into my shattered psyche shows that further action is unnecessary, Madam Kata. I also promise to look further into this "sudsing" phenomenon and perhaps even try "lathering" and "rinsing" myself someday (though I am sure that once will be quite enough). Join me next time when I start my 10 day countdown to Scrabble Nationals and/ or I impersonate an inebriated blatherskite.
1) I can not sit with my back to a large window or door while playing. I keep telling people it is because of assassins (and there certainly is a large enough bounty on me) but, I doubt that the direction I am facing is going to have much impact on a soulless sniper. I did do some research to see if there is some genetic basic for this particular quirk of mine. The closest I found was a distant ancestor who was shot in the back in Virgina in 1780. He was running away from British people with guns in some sort of revolution (running away from people with guns doesn't seem that "revolutionary" to me, but maybe he was doing it in a particularly fancy way). There was no window or door involved though since it was in the middle of a forest. Further evidence against the hereditary theory comes from the lack of the behavior in my father or brother or any other family member, really except for crazy uncle Eddie and he's well, you know.............adopted.
2) I take a small cute duck with me to play scrabble in events several states away I have to pay to enter. I'm still not sure that some of you reading this have quite figured that out yet.
3) I use performance enhancing steroids when I play scrabble online (its a little too obvious when I inject myself in the middle of a tournament game). Seriously though, the Internet Scrabble Club or ISC is many things to many people. About the only thing we can all agree on is that the insulting and rude "helpers" are a serious problem (well everyone agrees but sadomasochist Pete and I can't stand him). One of the biggest ongoing debates is the use of outside aids during games. Some people feel that nothing should be allowed whatsoever and have gone so far as to sign something called a fair play agreement (we'll come back to this in a minute). Some feel that some things are ok, like a dictionary or a list of all the 2 letter words. Others have decided to use various programs or devices because they don't care and/or they believe others are doing the same anyways. I have no idea what the percentages are like, but I can attest that there are multiple people I have personally seen use outside aids during their games despite having signed the fair play agreement. I am not sure what exactly this accomplishes other than ticking people off., but it seems a popular choice somedays. Anyways, my deep dark secret is that I am one of the people who uses outside help during my games. I have not signed the agreement and do not plan to do so. To the best of my knowledge, there are no tournaments or anything that involves money changing hands over the outcome of a game on ISC. Since it is "for fun" I have chosen to use it as a tool to learn many new words I would not have otherwise. In most games, the best way to get better is to play with people who are better than you. To do that on ISC you have to first get a rating that is higher than your ability level so that the better people will play you. My rating is now high enough that I can play against national champions and see words and strategies I never would have otherwise. My opponents, meanwhile, got a new opponent that they would not have access to otherwise. I do not see who the victim is here. Please comment in the forums if there is something I have missed though.
4) I am "somewhat" tangential and long winded (see #3 on this "short" list).
5) The color of the tiles, clock, rack and board make it substantially harder or easier for me to play. Pink clocks make me feel like a sissy and I start trying to play overly masculine words like "smash" and "impregnate". I carry my own rack with me (all black with the logo scraped off). I spent hours deciding what were the most soothing tiles to play: cerulean blue (and I will give a cookie to anyone that knows what that is a reference to). I am also saving up to get a custom made board with optimum shading, contrast and embedded images.
I hope this look into my shattered psyche shows that further action is unnecessary, Madam Kata. I also promise to look further into this "sudsing" phenomenon and perhaps even try "lathering" and "rinsing" myself someday (though I am sure that once will be quite enough). Join me next time when I start my 10 day countdown to Scrabble Nationals and/ or I impersonate an inebriated blatherskite.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
'Puter Problems and Possible Mulitple Personality Disorder
So it is not really scrabble related (but how much of what I write here is anyways?) but I have been having some technical difficulties lately. I technically have been very busy with um... man what have I been doing these last couple days? Why can't I remember? Why are two of my clocks running backwards? Why do I now set off metal detectors no matter whats in my pockets or what I'm (not) wearing?... More on this story as it develops. My computer has also been acting up (as opposed to acting down, or left I suppose). Luckily I have a friend (I know I'm surprised too) who knows about matters of the silicon heart and he graciously agreed to fix it for some cookies. I don't understand how someone can comprehend the complexities of a computer, but not a convection oven. I am glad I had something to barter though (it was either cookies or "my first born son" and I kinda wanted to have a daughter). So once my computer was working, the blogspot people (the service I write my blog through) decided I needed a little more crazy in my life (people keep telling me its paranoid to think of everyone as being out to get me, but if they were, wouldn't they tell me not to be paranoid so I would be more vulnerable to their attempts to get me... ).For whatever reason, when I have tried to log in to the blog lately, a curious message would appear: "Error: email address does not exist". This caused a bit of an existential crisis. I went and checked my email and it certainly appeared to exist. I followed the help directions listed (apparently things wink in and out of existence a lot for these people) and I was led further down the rabbit hole. While the message still claimed that my email address (or maybe email in general, I'm not sure how grand a claim they were making at this point) did not exist. I now had the option (thanks to a link they sent to my non-existent email) to log into "my" blog. Apparently someone with the screen name I use made a blog around five years ago. It does not share any of my interests and has nothing to do with scrabble or ducks. I have no memory of any involvement with this blog which is scarily/serendipitously named "ImaginaryConvenience". My user name is very odd and specific so I can only imagine I have some sort of blogging doppleganger out there as a result of cloning or time travel or the radiation my mother claimed I was getting anytime I sat too close to the T.V. (if only I had known the horror of a weird blogging double I was about to unleash on the world I promise I would have listened Mom, no matter how bad my eyesight is/was). I then started to wonder, if when I log in I am taken to this mysterious other website; when my evil twin logs in are they taken to my innocent scrabble sanctuary? What if they post crazy ramblings under my name? What if nobody notices the difference?? What if people do notice the difference, but prefer my double to the "real" me?!? These questions lent me a sense of urgency as I began to race to find a solution so I could regain control of ScrabbleDuck before it was too late. I went back through all the old notifications sent to my still non-existent email address and followed link after link in the help threads. To make a long story (somewhat) shorter I created a new account. I made a new and (hopefully) recognized as real email address. I used the correct password information I had to transfer everything to a new account and then back again somehow (I'm not going to lie. I was doing things at random by this point). I still have no idea what was wrong in the first place, but I have my information saved and my password changed so I am back for the foreseeable future and my blogging double won't be able to desecrate these hallowed pages with their correct grammar or non run-on sentences. Feel free to celebrate (or wail in anguish as I continue to butcher the English language unfettered). I am pretty tired from this ordeal and one of my elbows seems to be beeping ominously, so I am going to have to sign off, but fear not, I will be back with actual scrabble content very soon.
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I'd like to suggest a different nickname for Michael. "Danseuse" and "petite" are the feminine forms of the words, and in French the adjective follows the noun. Michael is most definitely a male. Michael is also very gentlemanly and kind to his opponents. So, how about "Le Danseur Gentil"?
And what about Lamar? He needs a nickname that indicates his sunny demeanor and his blinding intelligence. Something that reflects the fact that his sunny demeanor distracts his opponents from his blinding intelligence ...until it's too late!