Flaking Out With The Pie People (Countdown #7)

In news that will shock no one, I have miscounted the number of days left until the National Championship. So this countdown begins at #7 (I hear it can be turned up to 11 though). What's the best way to start off this momentous romp? No seriously, any suggestions? I've never done anything like this before... Oh well, let's just check back in with those persistent pie people. Checking the comments for my last post reveals this little gem:

PiByter said...

Fine dont post pics. Exotic nicknames are good tho. Very good. Give everyone one and I might come back.

For those counting at home, that makes the fourth distinct iteration for a pie person (PiCurious, PiLover, and CobblerGal were previous pie posters). There are definitely some features that stand out. Let's take a national geographic moment and examine further the distinctive characteristics of a wild pie poster. Punctuation and correct spelling seems to be lacking it most specimens. There is certainly a hostility and aggression that must be carefully dealt with when you encounter one. They seem overly territorial, as they often return to the same site and mark it as their own, frightening off other meeker animals. They are overly focused on mating, but seem confused by the logistics (see PiCurious in particular for evidence). Though they seem to move in packs leadership is fluid and an alpha pie poster is difficult to identify. Attracted to flaky crusts and/or irrational numbers. Be careful not to leave either outside your tent or blog if you wish to avoid these strange creatures.

So my moral quandary is this: do I provide "exotic nicknames" that will probably be fetishized
by depraved pie posters or do I put some effort into this post and come up with compelling content that everyone can enjoy?..............Wait a sec! Nicknames are a bunch of related terms that each require a small amount of explanation. Smells like a list to me! (hey scrabble nurses, is there a name for obsessive list making and sharing? Is there medicine for it?) Looks like you get your wish PiByter. May God have mercy on my soul...

"Exotic" Nicknames for Everyone (who's anyone at least)

1) Madam Kata: Regina's moniker was the first step down this slippery slope and has been covered in the post Madam Kata enters the fray.

2) Crimson Commando: Candice being Candice and my unhealthy love of alliteration in the last post was enough to draw the attention of the pie people and get this crazy train rolling. For those not paying attention, Candice is a red head and a soldier (and a little too forthcoming with foundation anecdotes).

3) Professor P: I guess technically I have a nickname too. How's this for creativity, I am a teacher and my middle name starts with P. I am so proud of my public school education right now.

4) The Director: Ok, calling Peggy "The Director" is a bit of a cop-out, but it does sound cool in certain circumstances and adds a bit of cinematic flair to our shoddy operation (I am also holding out hope for the a love connection between The Director and The Conductor I met at my first fever dream of a tournament. I'm sure they could make a beautiful "C.D." together...)

5) The Finger: I'll take any chance I get to reference Louise's obscene "accident". It also sounds awesome when pairings are being given out.
"Next round, looks like you get...The Finger!"

6) Grey Ghost: I'm still pretty sure Kathy (with a K) is/was some sort of spy or ninja. She still drifts with the wind around the globe (claiming she has a game show or book signing to attend right before some world leader is assassinated). And, um, she has gray hair.

7) Acolyte: Cathy (with a C) is always complaining about all the studying she has to do. She also has some mysterious religious past that she alludes to occasionally. She claims she is too "busy" to read the blog, but the only rational explanation is she belongs to some sort of extreme religious order that considers blogs unholy. (theory #2? She's a pie person. There I said it.)

8) Petite Danseuse: Michael is ambiguously french and a homunculus hoofer (whether it is square, line, point or cube).

9) Lightning Rod: Victor attracts controversy and recently played softball with an aluminum bat during a thunderstorm (runner up name is The Litigator since he is a newly minted lawyer and a good candidate to be The Director's nemesis).

10) Jade Owl: Jo Ann looks a little like an owl to me (in a good way...) She is also wise and wore a green sweater one time. Ok, you got me. I'm running out of steam here.

Join me next week when we.......Wait what's that? We forgot Galen? In honor of her status as minor deity to the Pie People I open up her naming to the comments section for the next few days. That's right, its the first contest here at ScrabbleDuck (well aside from the Cerulean Blue Cookie Contest which has no entries so far). Be the one to come up with the best suggestion for Galen's nickname and receive the ScrabbleDuck Quack of Approval (trademark pending). Let's keep it (relatively) clean and come up with something worthy of the "freak like me" herself. Just remember, the Pie People are counting on you and they are a temperamental and fundamentally depraved group (pretty much like scrabble players). Join me soon for the Countdown #6 spectacular(failure)!