Happy Time!

Okay, my last post was filled with a lot of vitriol (ahh vitriol, the bingo that cleans stains the six letter words just can't ). In the interest of balance (and not sounding like a whiny jerk) here is an unordered (yet mysteriously numbered) list of some of the unequivocally awesome things from my first tournament and beyond:

1) One of my opponents introduced himself as "the conductor". As in:
"Hello my name is John Smith. And you are?"
"I am...the conductor."
I guess I was supposed to know what that meant. He was dressed pretty nice, but I didn't recognize him as a celebrity (scrabble or otherwise). Maybe he is big in Japan...

2) The nicest guy I met was incongruously named Dick. My attempts to get him to change names and/or identities with a jerk I met named Cordial were sadly unsuccessful.

3) I was able to finish higher than the person who wanted to stick tiles in my nose from the first round.

4) I found a rule buried in the scrabble official handbook for resigning which basically allows you to give your opponent an additional fifty points with the win and walk away.

5) I had the pleasure of gleefully pointing out this rule to a S.A.P. 2000 minion at a later tournament when I was told again that I could not resign.

6) Getting to watch their head nearly explode when, in fact, I did get to walk away from the train wreck that particular game had become and successfully refocus myself before winning my next five in a row to earn some prize money.

7) One of my opponents at my first tournament was clearly high. Aside from the odor and the entire deluxe bag of chips they gleefully ate during our game, they laughed at every single thing I said.
"Hi, nice to meet you."
"Meet me? Hehehhehe."
"Umm, so who gets to go first?"
"We doesn't! Hehehehehe"
"Well looking at your sheets from the last couple rounds, it seems like you have gone second five rounds in a row..."
"Thats what she said! Hehehehe"
"Right.... So why don't you go first this time."
"Whatever tickles your pickle man....Hehehehehehe Pickles...Hehehehehe"
"Do you know you're at a scrabble tournament?"
"Your mom's a scrabble tournament! Hehehehehehe"

8) Losing to the guy who was ridiculously high by over 100 points. This is pretty funny now, but at the time...Actually at the time it was pretty funny too. I just can't stay mad at anyone who laughs at pickles...

9) Complaining during a round to my opponent about the guy I had lost to the round before and getting interrupted with "That guy is my wife!". Age is not kind to some people...

10) Overhearing this conversation on the other end of the spectrum, between one guy easily over 18 and another around 40.
"That girl leading the division is hot!"
"She is also only fourteen years old..."
"Exactly!"
"She is also my daughter..."
"Oh... So, umm...is she dating anyone?"

11) Least but not last: Being introduced to someone who proudly bragged,
"Hi, I'm the highest rated scrabble player in southern Wisconsin!" Of course we all know who is the highest rated player in northern Wisconsin. Perhaps you have heard of this mysterious man. They call him..."The Conductor".